Back in the Brigham

So I was released from the hospital Monday. Thursday I had a BPP - baby boy passed wonderfully. My BP however - sucked. 142/100 (yep, that was manual and lower than the other one). They draw labs and I was smart and asked if I could take a 24 hour set-up home so if a 24- hour urine was ordered I could just do it at home instead of the hospital.

I had a voicemail this am. Blood work was great (woo hoo!). Protein ratio in my urine was up from 0.19 (which gave me the 293 24-hour test) to 0.22. Likely I have PE again now. I was instructed to start a 24 hour urine. My nurse called back an hour later and said she actually just got in touch with the MFM and he wanted me back in for monitoring......

Me: well observation or should I pack a bag?

Her: observation only right now - but bring a bag

My BP upon arriving at L&D was 159/95 (on meds). I started another 24 hour urine that will be done tomorrow at 6:30pm. The resident came in and said I was staying to get the steroid shots and we would try to keep my pregnant for another week or two. I asked for 6 more weeks and she said they would try, but unlikely. Also, the NICU will be coming to visit me soon to discuss what may happen at delivery. I got the first shot and then my MFM came in - he may send me home at some point but said to mentally prepare for hospital bed rest for a few weeks. I said a few weeks right like more than 1 or 2 - he laughed and said weeks but hospital weeks not home weeks and thankfully we will have the second steroid shot on bored tomorrow at 6pm and I will be beta complete Sunday at 6:30 pm.

My poor hubby. A note was on my chart that stated why I was coming in. I saw it :) It said MFM: (dr amazing)

positive urine SPOT

increasing BPs

history of severe PE at 22 weeks - LOSS

contact "HIM" (i found that part hilarious as o.k. - he is adament I guess!)

The nurse right when I walked in said I am so sorry for your loss. I thanked her and we began doing admitting paperwork. When I went to leave a urine sample she went and got my hubby from waiting area to bring him into triage (the Brigham needs to leave them out in triage while they make sure you are not being abused ;p) . When she led him into the room she looked at him and said I am so sorry for your loss. He started to hyperventilate and shake until he realized she meant last time - for a minute he thought we lost the baby again. He was a mess the rest of the night.

I am back in the same room I was admitted to last visit! Hubby came up and we ate dinner together and watched a movie. Calm and nice.

I dread meeting the NICU - I don't want to have to think about that - but no I need to. Last time I met with them they told me they couldn't help Vincent and as his parent's we had to decide whether we wanted to try ( although odds were less than 5% he would survive to 24 weeks and 0% chance of no severe brain injury due to the placenta starving his brain of oxygen) to hold on two more weeks with my kidneys getting worse by the minute and my risk of stroke or seaizure rising - or if we could let him go peacefully. It sucked. It was the first time we were called his mom and dad by someone. I know we will be having a much different conversation this week - but still memories and ghosts.

The hubby will be working on our new room this weekend (so he can start working on little boy's room!). I'll be designing from afar most likely. actually, I am very excited he will have a whole new room prepared for us - it will be a treat!

So I am still hoping to get out again (while still pregnant) but I understand it is not likely. I will be writing a lot I am sure in the upcoming days - so much time on our hands in the hospital!

I miss home and the dachshunds though. Not seeing them will be so hard. Worth it for baby, but hard. I'll need to give them extra love when I get home!

Hope everyone is well!

Jamie