I love these Ladies

The support of this community is amazing! When I received news we were most likely fighting PE again - I received Vincent's beautiful waterfall photos from Lisa at Waterfall Angels. It turned out not to be PE at that time, but a week later it was.

Now the nurses are mentioning how I am getting worse, BPs are jumpy, proteinuria is progressing, etc. Yesterday I got some disconcerting news about Sprout. 2 weeks ago, Sprout was weighing a guesstimate of 4 lb 6 ounces and was chilling in the 83 %-ile. Yesterday, at 34 weeks Sprout had dropped to the 51 %-ile. He is now guesstimated to be at 4 lbs 10 ounces. The technical note on the scan mentioned there was NO significant abdominal growth noted in the 2 week period. This is 2 weeks on hospital bed rest - little boy should be bulking up like there is no tomorrow. But, when the placenta starts to fail, the abdomen is the first to stop growing. This could be where we are at now. Stupid PE.

So what does this mean for us? This means I will be watched - surprise! - just like I am now. If I start to deteriorate more rapidly, we will deliver. If baby boy stops having reassuring fetal monitoring, we will deliver. If in 2 weeks his belly still hasn't grown - that's right we will most likely deliver at that point. If everything keeps holding stable - we will deliver in 3 weeks at 37 weeks.

This scared me that his growth is slowing down. I feel like I am in the beginning of failing my little boy. Then I received Jessica's Forever Remembered Collage for Vincent. It brought me back into the moment. Gosh I am in a good spot now. My little boy has been watching out for Sprout and both of my scary events in this pregnancy - members of this community have sent me signs of Vincent on those days. It brings me back to the moment - and you know what - the moment is not too bad.

I am scared to become a "everyday" mom - but more on that later. For now I am just happy that fear is even real for me. I am posting his collage now - it deserves it's own post :)