The HPT says....

BFP!!!!

Yep - today there was no denying that second line.  I expected to feel fear - I mean what if the baby doesn't stick, what if I have a first trimester miscarriage, what if I make it through all that just to face PE again early on.  What will I do without my on-call money - we struggle as is. It's enough to make me insane with worry!

Instead I felt - immense joy!!! Everyone is telling me how much better I am talking it than they expected - after all I do tend to worry about everything. I am just going to take this one day at a time -  and today is good. Actually today is great! 

One thing I learned from Vincent's pregnancy is that worrying doesn't help a damn thing. I also learned that there really never is a safe time to tell others you are pregnant. I waiting until 13 weeks last pregnancy, and I still lost him.  The happiest memories I have are from when I was preggo with that little boy. I WILL NOT cheat this baby out of those happy memories.

It did kinda suck to have to tell everyone at work today - before my first set of betas even! But I was having trouble finding coverage for my on-call shifts - so I had to open up. Said when work knows before mom (I remedy that later :p )

Current plan: we are doing hcg levels today and Wednesday for sure. I am trying not to stress out too much over the numbers since I think I am fairly early on. If numbers are looking good - woo hoo! If they are a little low (which is a real possibility using these FRER tests - the downside to early detection!), we will draw another hcg on Friday.

IF, all that looks good we will do a u/s around 7 weeks. After heartbeat is seen (please god) , we will do a baseline 24 hour urine to see if I spill a bit of protein from the get go.

My OB - who I really must say is sooo wonderful - is setting me up with a High Risk OB after the u/s. I am really appreciative that she wants me to be watched so closely. I was worried I would blame her for what went wrong because she read the signs and tried to set me up for high risk before things got bad.... but we weren't pushy enough. On the contrary she has made me feel as though she will fight with me. She has made me feel great when she O.K'd me to TTC. Basically, she has been nothing but supportive. Alas, I accept - quite willingly I may add - that I need to be followed closely. Oddly enough this OB is actually my last GYN's wife! I saw that GYN for 10 years then switched to one closer to the Brig.  The one I picked - without knowing it- was his wife! Too funny!

Meds:

I am taking:

1 mg Folic Acid

prenatals w/ DHA

Calcium supplement

LDA- I am really hoping the low dose aspirin really helps!

60 mg Procardia ER (to keep BP better than before)

clonazapem - to keep me sane!

I still take zyrtec, pulmicort and albuterol as needed for my asthma.

A women at work told me next year is the Chinese Year of the Tiger. She patted my belly and told me to grow my little cub. They are all so sweet and supportive. I know what I went through was hard on them too. They are all really really REALLY amazing, supportive and wonderful. 

Stick little cub... please stick :) Mommy needs to hold her baby more than once this time!